just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
