there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize