Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
