mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to have your abortion
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
