You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
