What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
