Only a mothe r could love this liver
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
