By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
