yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
