I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
