it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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