his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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