she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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