i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
