i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
