Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
