I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
