i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
