Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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