I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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