didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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