I think scott just propositioned me for sex
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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