So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
