get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize