I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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