I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize