My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Two words: blizzard sex
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize