Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
