I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
