i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize