Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
if only i could text you this smell
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
