Tell her she can't have a vagina
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
