you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
