I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
