Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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