I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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