we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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