At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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