the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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