I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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