the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
