just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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