you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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