I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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