we have officially lost it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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