we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize