Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize