suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
