I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
