i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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