She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
