i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
