Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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