imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
