Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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