u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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