I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm at about main and main street
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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