I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
