I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
