if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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