UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
