Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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