She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
