Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
