Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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