I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
