I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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